 I suppose a blog could go a lot of ways with a title like this. I’m actually talking about literally keeping it all together - as in your child’s medical files. If you have a kiddo dealing with more than common childhood bumps, bruises, breaks and illnesses, keeping track of all the information from labs, meds and doctors can be a real feat. If you don’t have all of the right information at the right time, it can cause some hold ups in the process of helping your child get the care that he or she may need. So let’s talk ideas on how to do our best to keep it together. Digitize Me Not all - and we get that - but most of us have some form of device that can take a photo and store it. We typically carry that thing around with us all, if not most, of the time. If you have a smartphone or a tablet, you can capture images of your child’s paperwork and keep them in folders that are easily accessible. You can carry these to any and every appointment and have it right there with you at check ins or when visiting with the provider. This can also be a plus when trying to make appointments. GoogleKeep is one of those apps, among others, that help organize photos and give a place for notes, lists and sharing. This capability can be great if one parent takes a kiddo to one appointment because it fits her schedule and the next appointment fits his - with the shared documents, it will all be right there for whoever needs it. Bind It For those of us who still love our paper - hand raised high here! - there are some great tips and tools out there for compiling medical information into notebooks and journals. If this works better for you and you can remember to carry it with you, be sure to always keep it updated. If you need tabs to help you keep things organized, like “medications” or “lab work” or a doctor, this can help you quickly find what you need when you need it. You can leave space in here with places you can take notes when you’re on the phone or in an appointment. This route can be handy if a copy needs to be made. But How Do I Get It? Sometimes it can be a challenge to get records for various reasons. It can be a challenge sometimes for records to get passed around to the different offices that may need them, so if you can get your hands on a copy (paper or digital) that can help with some of the communication challenges. You have a right to your child’s records. You can call the provider’s office or stop in or get a copy mailed to you. In a perfect world all of the technology and exchanges of information would run smoothly and on time. And we all know that we don’t live in that world. It is ok to make sure you have what you need from your child’s medical records in order to coordinate care with other providers. Errors may happen for a myriad of reasons, so gently stick to your guns and make sure that you have everything because you, as the parent/guardian of your child, will always be the hub of information in each appointment (or phone call). However you find a system that works for you, be sure to keep it all together. It will save you some headaches and keep communication open and more clear with your child’s providers as you all do your best to meet the needs of your child on his/her medical journey. For more tips or tricks or support in gathering and storing your child’s medical records, please reach out to me at katelin@oliviacaldwellfoundation.org or 307-333-1273 and I’d be happy to help!
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 You want to give back to a cause that has impacted you, you want to better your community or you just want to be a part of a cause that is doing important work- but maybe you want to do more than just write a check… Here are some fun ideas that help you help your cause of choice that goes beyond just a transaction. 10,000 Steps Challenge: The 10,000 step challenge requires participants to walk 10,000 steps a day for a length of time (e.g. a week or a month). Have your supporters accept pledges on how long they’ll last and have them monitor their steps (on their phones or Fitbits).
Community Serve-a-thon: Choose a volunteer activity that will benefit the community as a whole (e.g. raking leaves or park/beach clean-up) and ask friends and family members to pledge money to the individuals or teams in support of their work. Donate these funds to your favorite organization- talk about double the impact!! Host a Yard Sale: Go around your neighborhood and ask for donations of items your neighbors are willing to part with and host a fundraiser yard sale where all proceeds are donated to your cause. Not only can people clean out their unused items, but you can make a huge difference while doing so. To make a greater impact consider asking a group of friends (or your church/community group) to do it with you so you can have more items. Host a Parents-Night-Out: Every parent needs a night out every once in a while. If you have a space to be able to host a gaggle of kids, charge parents a fee (either hourly or a flat rate) for your babysitting services. Recruit a few friends so you can watch even more children and raise more funds. Make sure to have some fun events planned for the kids. A good time would be Valentine’s or just before Christmas when parents do their Christmas shopping. Give it Up Challenge: Challenge friends and family to join you in giving up an everyday or weekly indulgence and donate the cost instead. This could be a daily coffee order, eating out, afternoon vending machine snack, etc. They can keep a log of how many times they give it up and donate that amount at the end of the challenge or they can donate every time to a peer to peer campaign so they stay honest throughout the challenge. Host a Fun Run: People love signing up for a race to challenge them physically, but when coupled with benefitting a good cause, all the better. Add a fun twist to your run to make it stand out from all the other races: zombie run, turkey trot, color run, etc. Charge an admission fee which will be donated to your favorite charity. Flash Mob: Pick a song, come up with choreography, and choose a location. Teach the choreography to a group of volunteers/friends. During the flash mob, have someone ask the observers for free-will donations. Host a face-painting booth at a local event or race and ask for donations for each painted face. There are tons of races happening during the summer months so try contacting the event organizer and see if you they will waive the booth fee so your donation can be greater! Run a Dog Wash: forget the traditional car wash fundraiser, people are definitely willing to pay to have their dogs washed so they don’t have to do it themselves. Not only will you be helping your favorite organization by donating funds, you’ll also be helping spread awareness about the cause and the good they do. That may be equally as important for nonprofits as the financial gain. Make sure to reach out to your organization of choice so they can provide materials to hand out and help promote your event with their constituents. However you choose to support your favorite cause, thank you for helping make this world a better place and by spreading some joy while doing so.
Categories All  Empathy. What is this? The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The definition in itself is pretty simple looking. You feel sad, I feel sad. You mad? Let's be mad together. But when it comes to empathy or being an empath, there are so many aspects others may not realize. Empathy is a huge concept. Before we dig deeper into this, I want you to understand that empathy is NOT the same as sympathy. Many get them mixed up. What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? Sympathy involves understanding from your own perspective. Empathy involves putting yourself in the other person's shoes and understanding WHY they may have these particular feelings. If you are unsure whether or not you are an empath, here are some traits typically found with empathy.
Empaths are not meant to be sponges or enablers, they are simply for help, support and guidance. During the holidays so many get extra stress from extra purchases, or they are missing a lost loved one deeply. Throughout these times of year, friends and family need the extra support. If you find yourself helping more, and really aren’t sure how to keep up with it all, here are some tips to help make the process easier on you. 1. Make your overall health and wellness a priority. Don’t let taking care of others stop you from caring for yourself. Find activities that replenish your reserves and find ways to incorporate them into your schedule. Read a good book. Set aside time to pray or meditate. Listen to a soundtrack that soothes you. Take your dog on a walk or keep up with a regular exercise routine. Allow yourself some time to decompress and be alone when you need it. These little investments in your health can make a big difference. 2. Don’t be ashamed of your big heart. Your empath traits make you a compassionate person and a cherished friend. Your ability to connect with the emotions of others is a blessing. But it will require awareness so you don’t become overly immersed in the emotional highs and lows of others. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate tough emotions and situations. 3. Remind yourself that saying no is not selfish. Boundaries are important and can help prevent burnout. We all have a limited amount of time and resources to give. You can’t help everyone at all times. Be gracious with yourself as you decide what you’re able to handle and when you may need to step away or pass on something. 4. Allow yourself time to recharge and regroup. Rest is so vital. Be honest when you are at max capacity. It may feel unnatural at first, and you’ll want to give people rationalizations, but knowing your limits and making your mental health a priority is nothing to be ashamed of.. Empaths often need time to be alone and recenter. Giving yourself blocks of time by yourself to recuperate is probably one of the most important things to remember. Don’t forget. Just as you have a heart for helping others, there are people ready to help you, too. Please, if you are struggling, do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes we need tools to help us process our emotions or a trusted friend or counselor to listen. It takes strength to let someone in and evaluate when you may need additional assistance.
Categories All  My oldest son has been through a lot. Way more than a 10-year-old boy should ever have to go through. From the loss of his twin sister to brain cancer to his own battle with Type 1 Diabetes to adults disappointing him, he’s been through the wringer in more ways than one. There was a time when our sweet little boy was so burdened by the difficulties he had faced that he couldn’t muster a smile for a single family photo. He would scowl and hide his face. He struggled to relate to other kids his age because he had walked through so much more life then they had. My husband and I have fought hard to help get him out of that place and to help our son find the joy that should come in childhood. Last night I was laying with my little boy at bedtime just chatting about his day. He told me, “Mom, I realized something - I’m not sad anymore. And I’m not worried about anything anymore. Do you think that’s okay? Is there anything I should be worried about?” It took everything in me to not burst into tears as I wrapped my arms around, and told him there is nothing for him to worry about. And it is a great thing that he just feels happy and safe these days! As I finished tucking him in and walked out of his room, I was in awe as I reflected on the tremendous growth we’ve seen in our little boy. I’ve had the pleasure of watching him interact with his classmates and friends during a few year-end activities over the past two weeks and it has been such a joy to see him play and act like a joyful 10-year old kid! It’s such a simple thing, and yet such a huge victory! It’s taken a lot of work to get to this place. We’ve sought help, we’ve had many, many tough days, but it has all been worth it to see our boy finally find joy in his own childhood. In fact, more often than not, he has the biggest, brightest smile in all of our family photos! Our story might be completely different from yours. But if your kids are struggling with hard things, and your heart is aching as you watch them go through the ups and downs, please know there is help available for you! We have support groups in session now that are led by a licensed therapist that will help connect you with other parents who are going through similar mental health struggles with their own children. These groups are meant to give parents a safe space to connect, work through their own feelings, and get ideas on how to tackle the tough pieces of childhood. If you are interested in joining one of our support groups, please visit https://www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org/support-groups.html and sign up. The groups are free! And are also completely confidential. Any parent, guardian or caregiver can attend these groups whether their child has a diagnosed mental health condition or is simply struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. If you have any questions about the groups, please feel free to reach out to anyone on the OCF Staff. Just know you don’t have to walk this tough road alone!
Categories All  Never would I imagine I would get to the age where I love getting to bed early, reading a good book and seeing my garden grow. But here I am with seedlings growing in every windowsill of my house, finding it hard to stay up past 10pm and I head to the library every two weeks for a new book to read. All of these activities have become a great way for me to relax and relieve stress. Life gets crazy with all of our responsibilities: raising kids, all the sports commitments, having a career, keeping friendships alive, working on your health, providing dinner every night and somehow keeping our houses somewhat clean amongst all of that. I’ve always been a go-go-go type of person and I was starting to burn out. So I have made much more intentional time to slow down. I prioritize taking time to read a good book instead of watching tv. I get to bed at a decent time so I have enough energy to take on all of life’s responsibilities (which many times means the to-do list doesn’t get complete but life goes on). And I’ve found a new joy in growing a garden. There’s something remarkable about an entire plant growing out of a tiny seed and even more exciting when it provides food for your family to eat. Now, I definitely don’t have a natural green thumb but I’m learning and it’s been a neat experience to include my kids in. Let’s explore why gardening is a great stress reliever according to Elizabeth Scott, PhD: Sunlight Sunlight has been proven to improve mood. Everyone can benefit from more Vitamin D, especially those of us who have just experienced the prolonged winter months where sunlight was limited. “Sunlight also provides an influx of vitamin D, and the fresh air that goes with it is good for your health. Getting outdoors to work with your garden is a great excuse to get more of this good stuff.” Spending 30 minutes tending to your garden will give you extra sunlight you may not have had otherwise. Connection To Nature “Being in touch with nature and the great outdoors can help you feel more removed from the stressors of daily life. With the amount of time we spend indoors (at work, watching t.v., etc), many people feel an urge to connect with nature that goes unfulfilled.” Most of us don’t have time everyday to go on hikes, go camping or do other activities that allow us to connect with nature but simply going to your garden and helping it flourish is a great way to help mother nature do exactly what it’s meant to do! Creating Beauty There’s something magical about taking a seed and watching it sprout. It’s exciting and I find myself rooting for the little plants to be fighters so they can all grow into mature plants. Also, plants can add a great pop of color to any space. “The beauty of nature is a great stress reliever in itself. Just think of how many times relaxation has been connected with pictures of stunning landscapes or recordings of nature’s sounds.” Create a space in your yard that can become your garden sanctuary. If you live in a small space or apartment, find a space where you can have planters and watch how it improves your space. How to get started If you’re new to the gardening world I would recommend doing some research before getting started. You can certainly purchase your supplies but there are plenty of cost effective ways to create your own space as well. Some seeds require indoor growth before planting outdoors so pay attention to these details on the seed packages. I do find the details on the back of the seed packets to be rather vague so take the time to do extra research on best methods for the plant you’re growing. Don’t forget about local nurseries and growing clubs- these are a great place to purchase plants that are more mature and have a higher likelihood of growing to full potential. A resource I’ve learned a lot about regrowing produce we already purchase from the store is @creative_explained on Instagram. It’s pretty amazing to learn how we can utilize the resources we already have to grow something new. Living in a world full of information at our fingertips I know you can find what you need to grow a successful garden. Just keep in mind it may take a few seasons of trial and error and it’s more than okay to start small. Please share any gardening tips you have in the comments! Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/gardening-for-stress-relief-3144600
Categories All  Schools OUT! Congratulations to our Wyoming students, schools, and parents! You have made it or are weeks away from completing another year! There are challenges that come with every year and we want to cheer loud for you all who overcame and persevered! Now What? A well deserved break has now come for most with the approach of summer. And parents may also be scrambling to figure out what to do next, especially if they work through the whole year! While it may come with its own challenges, summer can be a great time for new and different experiences for your family, even if you have a child diagnosed with a chronic illness or medically complex condition. Summer Camp There are so many options out there for “childcare” during the summer that don't necessarily have to look like or feel like your child has a babysitter from June through August. Be sure to check out your local clubs, gyms, churches and other organizations to find out about their summer programs! Even if it is a shortened experience like a week-long camp, accommodations may be able to be made if your child needs certain support (help with checking blood sugar, medications, mobility, etc.). If you’d like to find a camp that is specific to your child’s experience in life with a medical condition, I can help point you in that direction as they do exist (pending location and diagnosis) and are wonderful programs! Some summer fun with old or new friends with plenty of learning opportunities on the life spectrum can continue to help shape your child into a neat young man or woman. J.O.B. Summer is an opportunity for your kiddo to get other experiences that will help them in the future from work. There are lots of opportunities to explore, even if your child has a specific interest. There is plenty of yard work to be done! If a full time, independent job within the workforce is not where your kiddo is for various reasons (age, ability, illness), your neighbors may well appreciate a responsible young person who will water gardens, mow yards, and/or take care of pets while they are away. You can also think about ways they can do the same work at your own home - plant your own garden and watch the pay out with your child learning to enjoy some responsibility. The possibilities are endless! Start a conversation with your child and see what interests he or she has and watch them learn and grow. Being given the chance to contribute and discover sparks of passion can be so meaningful as they learn more about themselves! Family Excursions We all know things are difficult right now on our pocket books. So how can we face that challenge of building family memories of togetherness and adventure without breaking the bank? Living in Wyoming, our rural status has its pros and cons. One pro is access to the great outdoors and some cool things to do in our own small towns. Whether it’s a picnic in a park, camping in the backyard, walking through a museum, or getting to the next town over to experience something different - we have options here that we can make special for our own family’s needs and abilities. Parents, don’t feel pressured or shamed for not being able to pack up the kids and head to Disney. Your kids will experience the love you have for them wherever you are together in your efforts to spend time with them. Balancing a New Routine Summer can feel euphoric with the promise of warm, sunny and carefree days. And if you care for a child with some form of special need, the change in routines and support systems found within the school can be a bumpy one. Remember that you can build another support system for these months and it can come in various forms. Keep doing all of the essentials for your kiddos - meds, doctor appointments, therapies, etc. - and see what opportunities there may be for you, too, to kick back and from some R&R this summer. If the school year is wrapping up too quickly for you and you’re starting to feel the panic rise over what to do with your kiddo(s) this summer, our Patient Advocacy Team is here to support you. Feel free to call, email or find us on the web to see how we can help you work through this summer transition! O:307.333.1273 katelin@oliviacaldwellfoundation.org www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org You can find us on your favorite social media platform!
Categories All  Have you ever googled parenting hacks? What about books to help you parent “correctly”? In almost 17 years of parenting, I sure have. I also have had to call poison control THREE times in one week! I am sure at least once in life your toddler or young child will “accidentally” call 911, resulting in cops coming to your house to assess the situation. Or maybe you have had to tell your child the tooth fairy got blown away in the Wyoming wind and that's why they forgot to leave money under their pillow! All these lovely scenarios come with the greatest feat of life called parenting. I would love to say that parenting is all roses and butterflies, and that it's smooth sailing. That is how I imagined it growing up. I would have the kid, feed it and POOF…it’s grown up and on its own. As much truth as there is to that idea of it going that fast, it is far from the reality that comes with parenting. I honestly do not think anyone is ever prepared for the in between. The ups and down, the turnarounds and all arounds of having children. Parenting is HARD! There isn't one good way to get through it or navigate the unknown. And all those parenting books seem to be full of lies when it comes to what to do! Parenting is complicated, and gives you every emotion known to mankind, even ones you didn't know existed. You wait 9 long months to have this sweet little bundle of joy in your arms, wanting to cuddle you and easily get comforted when you rock them. Then one day, years from that moment you are faced with the teenager that all of a sudden looks like a young adult and you find yourself asking “why”, “how” and “when” did this happen! I swear the sweet years FLY by. But the hard days, turn into long grueling nights of wondering where you went wrong. The tough days seem to drag on. And the easy days seem to be forgotten. You are the last person in the world your child seems to want anything to do with and every little thing you say or do is wrong. As hard as it can be, it's always good to try and remember the good days. Your child at any given moment has NEVER been this age. It is important to remember that the uncharted territory of parenting in this moment is all new, just like the exact moment of their childhood is new to them as well. They have never been here. But we have. As their parents we have grown through all these ages that we get to help our own children through. I have heard time and time again people say they won't let their children go through what they themselves did and want to make it “better’. To us it seems common sense that you don’t put aluminum foil in the microwave, you make sure you don’t over boil the water, you make sure to brush your teeth EVERY day and shower regularly. But how do our kids know this? These are all things we LEARNED. Did we do it the hard way? Or did our parents have to teach us these things? More than likely it was a mixture of both. It is possible you might learn something new while growing with your child as well. My advice as a parent is simple really. Just let it ride. Let go of all those expectations you ever thought parenting would look like. Don’t worry if it doesn’t look textbook perfect. You and your child will know what you need to do. I can guarantee that parenting is the toughest yet most rewarding thing you could ever do. On hard days, try and remember it won't be like this forever. Remember the good days and how far you've come as a parent. Give yourself grace and understand no one is perfect. Also know that what other people do for their parenting, might not work in your situation. Everyone is different. Which means that every single person learns or grows differently. The cool thing about parenting is, as long as you are doing your best, that's just how you do it. Your children have to learn certain things on their own, and it is our responsibility as their parents to be there for them. Sure maybe you don’t want them to make mistakes like you yourself did. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. Because sometimes we have to fall before we can rise.
 Yesterday was International Bereaved Mother’s Day. In a million years I never thought I would be a part of this group, but here I sit, nearly 9 years into my bereavement of my own daughter. And my grief is still as real today as it was all those years ago when Olivia took her last breath. You would think that with time, the grief has gotten easier. Or less heavy. But in reality, it never really lifts. It just changes. Sometimes it’s a little bit lighter, but other times it comes in like a wave, and without warning, it knocks me back down like a tidal wave. When Olivia first died I went into shock. I was there. I knew she had died. But I simply couldn’t allow myself to feel the magnitude of losing her because it would have overtaken me. So instead of grieving, I went into survival mode. I was determined to love the rest of my family well, and to try to make all of them okay so that our family could survive the loss. That survival mode went on for years. I would continually live almost in a dream, trying to make everyone else okay, while never actually dealing with my own grief or my own feelings of loss. It wasn’t until I met and married my now husband that I finally had the space, love and support I needed to deal with the loss of my daughter. And let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty! Thank God he’s a patient man who was determined to put the pieces back together for the three very broken people he found in my children and I. For about a year the grief and the brokenness were almost too much. I was exhausted! I felt like I was drowning in it, and I didn’t know if I would ever be able to come up for air. But with a lot of patience, prayer, and time spent healing, it did get better. And I can say now that I live in a much more real place with my grief, and I no longer try to stifle it like I did in my earlier years. Today I am 8.5 years into this loss of a lifetime. And I am still actively grieving. I miss Olivia every single day. And I am still dealing with all the ways her loss has affected me and the other members of my family. I won’t pretend for a moment to have all the answers for how to live successfully with grief. There are days when I think I’m doing okay, and there are days when I still need to spend a day or two in bed just allowing myself to feel the weight of this huge loss and all the sadness that goes with it. There are also days when I don’t have the luxury of getting to do that, and instead those around me sometimes pay the price for the tornado of grief that’s spinning around inside of me. I wish I had a lot more than 20 months with my daughter. I wish I had a 10 year old girl right now who was growing up into a beautiful young woman. I miss having my mini-me and I'm sad for all the experiences I will never get the chance to share with her. Today and every day, take the time to pray for and love on the bereaved mothers around you. You may not even realize some of them exist. You may think they are so strong from all they’ve experienced that they don’t actually need you. But I am here to tell you, they do. They just won’t be very likely to ask for it. They have probably learned a lot about suffering in silence and solidarity because it’s a loss unlike any other. But they shouldn’t have to keep living like that. Give them a hug. Invite them to coffee. Take a little time to learn about the child they lost and maybe even a little bit about the woman they were before they became a bereaved mother. You have no idea how much that would mean for both of you.
Categories All  Eileen Ford (left), Katelin Gitthens (right) The Patient Advocacy Team is hitting the road this summer! I am excited to have Eileen Ford - our new Foundation Assistant - on board as we continue to reach out to individual counties in Wyoming. In May we get a few days in Gillette. June sees us in Lander and Riverton. And Sheridan is in the works! It is shaping up to be a fun summer with more events to come. Why do we travel? The Patient Advocacy Program is a free, state-wide support opportunity for families who have a child with a chronic illness or medically complex condition. That can be anything from a premature birth to asthma to a rare genetic disease to cancer. There is no specific diagnosis needed to qualify for support. Our families come from the four corners of the state and everywhere in between. It makes a big difference to them to know what is local, even if that means within their county or neighboring counties. Their needs can be as varied as the diagnosis: help finding an affordable cell phone and plan, gas cards to get to out of state appointments, tax assistance, affordable housing, groceries, respite care, funeral costs, school support, sibling care and summer camps, rent assistance. These are just a few examples from the past month that have come up. In order to make sure that we have plenty of resources and good connections within each community, we do our research from homebase in Casper and then go to where the families are to shore up our relationships with community partners and see those we’re supporting face to face whenever possible! Get the Word Out The world we live in is stressful, no arguments there. Fact: as more stressors get added to our plates, the harder it is to manage. Another fact: that doesn’t make a value judgment on our humanity, just proves our humanity. If you or someone you know has a child diagnosed with a medically complex condition or a chronic illness, those stressors add up quickly and some things just cannot get done because there isn’t enough of you or them to do it. We want to make sure that every family that needs support receives it. It is a win-win for us when we know what exists in communities and that communities know we exist. For a real life example, knowing about respite providers is not exactly in every parent’s or guardian’s wheelhouse. But when they need a break because they spend most waking hours caring the energy to pinpoint that help often doesn’t exist. In this situation, it took myself and another organization that I referred the family over to for other support that eventually made connections to two wonderful respite providers possible. That saying “it takes a village to raise a child” explodes into greater depth of meaning when we can all work together for the family’s good. Still Available on the Go While we may be out and about in different counties or other events, we are still “here!” If you or someone you know lives in our great state of Wyoming and has a child diagnosed with chronic illness or a medically complex condition, please contact us! Our website (www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org) has a direct link to my email (katelin@oliviacaldwellfoundation.org), you can call at 307-333-1273 or find us on Facebook to send a DM!
Categories All  Today's youth are under pressure — now more than ever — in schools, in our communities, and online. How many times have you whispered to yourself, “I’m so glad social media wasn’t around when we were kids”. Most of us seemed to live in a simpler time when we were kids. We could go outside to play and wander the streets without worry, we weren’t attached to a phone (unless you were one of the lucky ones with your own personal phone line in your room), there was no evidence of something we did that would be blasted all over the internet. I take a look at kids these days who seem to grow up too fast and are addicted to technology and it makes my heart ache. Every time I hear a child under 12 talk about a Tik Tok video or when they have to practice a school shooting drill at school- it reminds me that times are definitely different and as parents we have to learn how to support our kids through something we don’t have experience with. There are so many different types of social pressure and external interruptions that we have to figure out how to support our kids through. So how do we do it all? Three pieces of advice I have are:
Trusting Your Instincts: As much as we were able to choose our kids’ friends and environment when they were little, as soon as they go to school you no longer have a say as to who they make friends with. From my experience, that sometimes means your kids are exposed to a completely different set of family values and rules. My kids have learned more things this year that I was unprepared to deal with but had to learn how to navigate. If you have that nagging feeling that your child is being picked on, is acting more sensitive, or even talking in a way you’ve never taught them- listen to it! You know your child best, so if something’s off make sure you trust those instincts and figure out how you want to handle the situation. This leads me to my next piece of advice, open communication. Keep Open Lines of Communication: This one is so important in my opinion. We just moved to a new town this year and therefore the kids started a new school. New school means new kids that I don’t really know. They have learned so many things this year that I frankly didn’t even know kids under 10 years old knew. We don’t let our kids watch YouTube, Tik Tok or even have their own phones because in my opinion they are too young but they were starting to talk about things they had seen on these channels so I knew they were still gaining access elsewhere. I had to sit my kids down and talk with them about why we didn’t let them watch these things and even when they weren’t home, it wasn’t okay for them to watch either. We had to lay down the truth that the internet can be a scary place for kids to be and it’s not appropriate for them to be on certain unmonitored channels. Every time they go over to a friend’s house where I know the rules are more lax, we have to remind them about our rules and that they need to be followed even when they are elsewhere. Keeping the lines of communication open with other adults in your kids life is equally as important. When one of my kids was struggling at school with behavioral issues I wasn’t given much information and had to initiate conversations with the teacher and counselor to see how I could help from my end. If your values don’t align with your child’s teacher, their friends’ parents or whoever, make sure to share and openly communicate your values and how you would appreciate some consistency so your child doesn’t get confused by all the different sets of rules. Lean On A Friend: This has probably been the most helpful thing as a parent thus far. If you have a friend whose kids are just a little older than yours, they have probably already dealt with the situations you are about to stumble upon. Lean on them for advice on how they handle this new world our kids are growing up in. It’s a wild new world our kids are growing up in so any advice from someone who’s already been through it is extremely helpful. If you feel like your child’s mental health is affected at all please know you have support available. Helping your child find the support they need to navigate through their struggles will help them flourish into thriving adults. The Olivia Caldwell Foundation is proud to offer a mental health support group for parents and caregivers of children with a mental health concern. Take advantage of this free resource to see how you can support them. Find out more information on our website http://www.oliviacaldwellfoundation.org/support-groups.html
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June 2022
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